relationship

How should we prevent and respond to domestic violence?

November 25 is the International Anti-Domestic Violence Day. How should we prevent and respond to domestic violence?

 

Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of your religion, your income or your education level. 

Generally, I feel like we should keep our eyes open (be smart) when finding the one. Don’t be fooled by the sweet words before marriage, remember to observe his behavior.

 

According to the statistics, people who will act domestic violence have the following characteristics.

1. His(Her) personality is extremely selfish and rarely considers the feelings of others. Including his family members. Satisfying himself(herself) is the first priority.

 

2. His(Her) emotions are easily extreme, and the tolerance of negative emotions is extremely low. Difficulty in controlling emotions, a little bit of pressure will cause emotional breakdown.

 

3. Never introspect himself(herself), he(she) might think all faults belong to others. When something bad happens,his(her) first reaction is to anger others to shift responsibility.

 

 4. Morbid possessiveness. For example, if you say a few more words with the opposite sex, he will doubt you and he does not trust you at all.

 5. Lack of empathy for the physical pain of others or animals, and even feel pleasure from it.

 

6. Have bad habits such as drink problems and gambling.

 

7. Repeatedly ridicule you, belittle you, and humiliate you. Such as your appearance and weight. If this person is an insignificant person, maybe you will choose to stay away, but if this person is your partner and the person you have most contact with, then you must pay attention.

 

8. Being good at discovering the shortcomings of victims is simply a great gift for them. Even if there are no obvious shortcomings, they deliberately create extreme emotions and then accuse you of making mistakes. Emotional manipulators know your weaknesses, and they will quickly use this knowledge. To deal with you. If you are upset about your weight, they will comment on how well your diet or clothes fit. Their perception of your emotions is extraordinary, but they use this perception to manipulate you instead of making you feel better.

 

9. Just like sharks can smell the blood of their prey from far away, the abuser can keenly discover the “wounds” on you (such as your childhood trauma, family trauma, emotional trauma, etc.). The abuser appears to be your “savior”, and then they make us feel that we can trust them, and then we even feel that we need them, and feel that this is the person we have waited for a lifetime. This is how they seduce and trap you.

 

When you look back on this relationship, you felt like this relationship is full of lies, deception, fear, intimidation, threats, instability, and unpredictability. It makes you often feel that bad luck is coming, through malicious projections, accusations, Devaluation and insult, mixed with the “gentleness” that is occasionally given to you, has caused you a deep cognitive dissonance. You have to be more cautious.

 

In the process of love and blind date, the value of appearance and wealth must be considered, but the above things should also be observed. The personality traits of domestic abusers are usually revealed.

 

Anyway, Be Smart & Don’t be a silent lamb when domestic violence happening.

Samuel Whyte

A psychology enthusiast, interested in movies, painting,psychology, hiking, workout etc.

Speaks Chinese and English.

Currently lives in Shanghai, China.

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