How to overcome the stress when talking to the girl you like?

Why would we have talking stress?

The first is to take the audience too seriously, that is, to think that other people are better than us everywhere, so when encountering many people or important scenes, they are particularly nervous and excited, so that they cannot express their meaning smoothly. 

In fact, in public situations or in front of people I care more about, I am just as nervous as you.

This is a normal psychology. Under such circumstances, if we can summon the courage to express our inner tension to each other, for example, “I am a little nervous to see you, please forgive me!” “I am very happy to be with you, but it is a bit nervous, please forgive me. “Wait, then our nervousness will soon calm down. Secondly, you take yourself too seriously, that is, you think that wherever you are, you will attract the attention of others, so when you encounter many people or important scenes, you will feel that everyone’s eyes are watching I’m so worried that I’m always worried that I’m not good at speaking.

I’m afraid that others will laugh at me. I’m very sensitive when I see others talking about myself. The more sensitive I am, the more fear and anxiety I am.

As a result, the more tense and the more unspeakable, the more unspeakable, the more tense situation appeared. In the end, talking to others is tense without knowing what you think. To put it bluntly, you have a strong desire to get rid of, overcome with strong actions, and mobilize all your minds to eliminate this anxiety, tension and anxiety as a result. The feeling of being caught on the body, which caused even more speechless situations. In view of the above three situations, here are 4 small suggestions.


Firstly, we need to know the connotation of “no one is perfect, no gold is perfect”.


This means that perfect people do not exist in this world, and everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages. Psychological research shows that in interpersonal communication, people do not like those who behave flawlessly in front of others, and the most popular are those who expose their true self to others and have some small shortcomings. So you should not pay too much attention to the influence of the other party on you “in public or in front of the people you care about”, and don’t pay too much attention to your shortcomings. As long as you use your etiquette and sincerity, then my goal will be achieved.


Secondly, everyone in the world has a fear of unknown things. 


This means that those with strong social skills also have tension and anxiety in front of the “objects they care about”. When we know this fact, then we will alleviate our tension and anxiety when we come into contact with others.


Thirdly, people who are elegant and generous in social interactions are trained in countless associations. 


At present, although I am a little nervous and anxious when interacting with others, it is for me who is growing up. It is a very normal phenomenon. When you think this way, your anxiety and anxiety will be reduced a lot.


Lastly, don’t overestimate the other one.

Don’t think that you are inferior to the other party, or even worthless. You should think more about your strengths, and use your strengths to stimulate and strengthen your self-confidence. In this way, your self-confidence can be enhanced, and then achieve the purpose of eliminating and alleviating tension.


Samuel Whyte

A psychology enthusiast, interested in movies, painting,psychology, hiking, workout etc.

Speaks Chinese and English.

Currently lives in Shanghai, China.

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