How can I get over a break up? Chapter Four

2.2. Continuous playback of the relationship with your ex During the process of grief, carefully recalling your emotional experience is an important part, and it is also a part that will make you crazy. To get out of this relationship, you must face it. Your mind is switched to overdrive, and your past emotional experiences are processed non-stop.


Your mind jumps back and forth between breaking up and good memories. You think for a while that you loved the other person that way, and then you think that the other person has hurt you that way. These scenes and dialogues are played randomly, and as the images in your mind jump, your emotions change a lot. At this time, you just want to turn them off, but you just can’t. The endless recollection makes you crazy, but it is incredible that this is very necessary for psychological adjustment, so that you can go through and pass this stage.


Although it will not last forever, it does not mean that you don’t need to go through it. It means that you are in the process of going through it. Although this makes people crazy and seems very negative, this kind of recollection is about letting go, not about attachment.


During this period, you can’t help resisting these thoughts and find something to “get busy”. After all, the images in your mind are about to force you to hit the wall! You can record these in your diary, or tell people, or walk around the room, twist your hand, curse this damn process, no matter how, please allow it to happen.


When you start to sort out intimate relationships, this kind of imagination will decrease, and you will have a certain degree of control over the situation. You will still have some thoughts and emotions about this emotion, but then it will act as a positive outlet until the chaos retreats. Intimate relationship combing will control the recall, allowing you to become the director of the film.


2.3. Confusion and confusion After breaking up, you may feel physically and mentally exhausted, either insomnia or lethargy.


You will have accidents at every turn, sometimes even incoherent. You feel that the whole person is very messy, and you are about to be dragged down. You will also wonder if there is something wrong with your ability or mentality.


The emotions are so strong and difficult to suppress, you are very scared, afraid to vent your feelings, you will completely collapse. this is normal. The process of grief caused confusion, confusion, diet and sleep troubles, and even disrupted the most beneficial daily activities. Sorrow will always draw your attention to it, and chaos is a means to make you pay attention to it.


Your mind is trying to reorganize your world because it knows that the person who was together has now left.

For those who have experienced a breakup for the first time, confusion and confusion are unbearable. It’s really hard, but please allow yourself to be sad, and allow yourself to be confused and confused. Remember, you are more prone to accidents, especially when driving. Just like drunk driving is prohibited, people who are in grief should also be prohibited from driving.


Remember, you can’t drive now, please be responsible to yourself and others. Keeping a mood diary can help you organize your thoughts, and the habit of making lists and scheduling schedules is also indispensable. If you have always been unorganized, the situation may be even worse. So, it’s time to write things down.


Knowing that your memory is no better than usual. Maybe you are the kind of person with a good memory, and you can usually remember what you have to do. When the time comes, I will remember. But soon, your memory will encounter serious challenges.


Even if you were once proud of your excellent memory, now you will be surprised to find that it doesn’t work that well. Now is not the time for self-promotion. If you don’t plan ahead, big problems may arise. Try to find something or someone to remind you as much as possible. Force yourself to write down what you need to do, and don’t be ashamed to let others remind you. Your memory will be restored.


If you think your memory has deteriorated, please do your best to keep your head clear. Anyway, you don’t need to have a good memory at this time, because this will only increase your troubles. Try to be organized, and if you forget something, don’t blame yourself too much. Everything will pass.



Samuel Whyte

A psychology enthusiast, interested in movies, painting,psychology, hiking, workout etc.

Speaks Chinese and English.

Currently lives in Shanghai, China.

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