Finally, unhappy partners often show negative emotions when talking.
They often respond with sarcasm to their partners’ complaints, and degrade and despise their partners’ personality.
This is not only useless, it makes the problem worse. Such destructive interactions usually start with criticism, attacking the personality and character of the partner, rather than targeting specific behaviors that cause complaints.
For example, instead of discussing a specific annoying event (“You throw a used wet towel on the floor and make me very angry”), but instead fully accuse the other party’s personality defects, such criticism can only be a partner The contradiction in communication is more intensified (“You are a bad guy!”).
estructive interactions also include contempt, which often takes the form of insults, ridicule, and hostile humor. The partner’s usual response to this type of attack is defensiveness: finding excuses or counter-complaining, and aggressively launching.
Counterattack” to protect yourself from “unreasonable attacks.”
Next, the partner may refuse to answer questions or build stonewalling, especially the man, who will refuse to speak and retreat to stone-like silence when faced with a mess.
The stone wall generally conveys “opposition, cold distance, and complacency”, rather than a moderate recognition and concern for a partner’s complaints. Eventually, there may be a devastating belligerence,
So how can we prevent ourselves from these bad examples？
- Precise communication
- Behavior description
- Listen actively
- Express how you feel instead of complaints
- Communicate calmly and friendly
These are the keys (tips) about fostering good communication in a relationship.