Here are some of the best relationship advice:
1. Respect each other’s minds. “You and your partner have two completely different minds that have been constructed over decades of time and continue to evolve,” says Steven Dziedzic, founder of the Lasting app. “That means you’ll think and feel differently about practically everything and find yourselves in disagreements, both big and small. That’s also why, in a conflict, the objective isn’t to ‘win,’ like many think—it’s to understand your partner’s perspective.” Dziedzic also encourages couples to keep in mind that your partner’s opinion is valid and worthy of respect, even when you’re tempted to think it’s not. “In a relationship, one of your most important jobs is to make consistent attempts to better understand what your partner is thinking and why,” says Dziedzic. “The more knowledge you have about your partner, the more resilient your relationship can become.”
2. Disconnect to connect. Social media and the internet in general can put a strain on one-on-one time. Just because you two may be the only people in the room together doesn’t mean you’re spending quality time with one another. “Put down your devices when out together and unplug when home,” says Bonnie Winston, celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert. “Take a 24-hour break to play board games or cook a meal together.”
3. Get a tune-up. “In the same way you see a general practitioner once a year for early detection, marriage counseling is a great idea once a year as well, if not more,” adds Winson. “Even a Mercedes needs a tune up yearly.” Considering an app like Lasting makes it easier and more accessible than ever. It smartly gets to know your relationship and then builds a customized program just for your significant other with sessions on everything from communication to sex.
4. Find a safe space. “When both people want it to work, it’s only a matter of finding a common ground and a common language, a safe space, where the friction of the relationship can be resolved,” says Cynthia Chauvin Miles, a certified hypnotherapist (CHT) specializing in relationships and author of The 10 Ways: A Guide to the 21st Century Relationship. “Oftentimes this space and communication style ends up happening in therapy, but if couples can invent that in their relationship beforehand, counseling is both easier and more often than not, not needed. My husband and I call it ‘drive time.’ We have our best conversations and make the most progress driving through rural areas where we’re both focused and relaxed at the same time.”
5. Invest in your partner. “Relationships have a strong chance of surviving when they are based on ‘the good’ in the other person, where both partners work together to feed that good and are inspired to become better themselves,” says Suzie Pileggi Pawelski, author of Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love that Lasts. “These relationships are more sustainable than those based simply on pure pleasure or usefulness, because they’re based on what partners actively put into them—rather than what they can get out of them.”
Thanks for reading.