what is love?

To me, love is all about selflessness. It’s the exact opposite of need and attachment. It’s the sensation of allowing, rather than seeking. Letting go, rather than grasping.
Love, in my eyes is far far away from what has been shown in the movies and songs for years. Love can never hurt. If it hurts, there’s something else. Fear. Attachment. Possessiveness.
Love is subtle and silent and delicate, and in its beginnings it can be drowned out easily by attachment, lust and fear. Love is powerful but it isn’t forceful. In fact, it in unconditional acceptance.
Today, love gets conflated with desire all the time. Desire is the intention to change something, to reject what it is in favor of what it could be — something better, more secure, more pleasing. You cannot love someone and desire to change them to match your liking. Love is the intention to let that thing be for its own sake.
Simply to want something very badly isn’t love. It’s hard to be sensitive to love when you’re overrun by desire. Love isn’t something that can be done badly, if it’s love at all. Desire can happen at the same time as love, but it’s not the same thing.
Love reveals itself when you release your need to have the object of your affection, and see that there’s no reason to make it yours. That it exists at all is enough.

“To love something is to disappear in its favor — to die to your own interests so that it can be what it is. “

Desires are personal. and they end where you end. They can be no bigger than you. Love is bigger than you.

“To love someone is for their happiness to be the same as your own.”

And so love simply dissolves the boundaries between you and me and them. It’s like seeing the world without any distinguishing lines.
Your love can’t be reserved for one person. If you only love one person you probably don’t love anyone. The truer your love is — the more generalized it becomes. To love fully is to love all. Just as God loves us all, as we are, no modifications needed.

Samuel Whyte

A psychology enthusiast, interested in movies, painting,psychology, hiking, workout etc.

Speaks Chinese and English.

Currently lives in Shanghai, China.

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