LIFE EXPERIENCE LIFE EXPERIENCE

How can you improve your communication skills?

I summed up in the study and practice of psychology,5 practical communication tips, each is very easy to use, let me feel relaxed in life. I also listed the psychological theories behind it. 
1. Pay attention to the “field” and adjust your emotions to control communication 
The more my friends say, the more anxious I am. When my friends find that I don’t want to listen, they speak faster and more anxious. I suddenly relax myself and find that my friends slow down. Therefore, adjusting my emotions will affect the other party’s emotions and change the direction of communication.
Modern psychology puts forward the theory of “being with each other”. Humanistic psychology emphasizes “being present”, while intersubjectivity psychology emphasizes that everyone is influencing the relationship field. Modern psychology puts forward the theory of “being with each other”. Humanistic psychology emphasizes “being present”, while intersubjectivity psychology emphasizes that everyone is influencing the relationship field. 
2.To express your emotions, feelings, thoughts, not to judge each other 
My wife likes to talk to me. Sometimes I will say, why do you talk so much? She says she is very hurt, sometimes she directly hurt me; now I will say that I am a little tired at work today, and I don’t want to speak any more. She will be a little lost, but at least no one is hurt, either physically or psychologically. 
Judgment can make each other nervous, will enter the defensive mode, make the continuous communication become inefficient or even harmful. To express your emotions, feelings, thoughts, not to judge each other 
3.Listen carefully and believe that others must be conveying something
In the past, when listening to others, I always felt that there was much nonsense and meaningless. It turns out that every expression has a deep meaning. If I understand the meaning, I will understand him better and improve the relationship. 
For example, my friend is very excited to introduce which bar’s song is the best in Beijing. I feel it carefully. She wants to provide me with some valuable information and establish a relationship with me. So I also very seriously cooperate with her, listen to her, I cooperate is also to establish a relationship, not really intend to go to the bar. 
Listening is not enough. Everyone’s words and deeds are expressing their consciousness, or subconscious, and they also need to deeply identify the purpose and meaning behind the words. Listen carefully and believe that others must be conveying something 
4.Focus on relationships, not content
Chatting with friends and husband and wife together, every time a friend said a word, his wife put in a rude retort to him. He was upset and had feelings for his wife. In private, I told my friend that she would oppose you every word you said. This is really depressing. However, she opposes you every word you say, which shows that she wants to talk to you and communicate with you, but the way is not very good. Maybe she hasn’t found a better way. Friends relieved, after a meeting to his wife gentle, their relationship is also harmonious. 
Psychologist Kohut believes that the heart’s need for relationship is just like the body’s need for air. Relationship has always been the underlying tone of our communication. If we can identify the language of relationship, we can reduce the consumption of content. 
5. Do not interfere in other people’s choices 
I used to be nosy. So when an old friend was smoking, he worried that I would criticize him. He said defensively, how are you going to help me quit smoking? I said, smoking is an important companion for you, you can smoke if you want! 
He looked surprised, because no one had ever supported him so much. Even if he was a smoker, I’m afraid he would talk about the helplessness of quitting smoking and smoke at the same time. 
Self psychology believes that people are trying their best to pacify their emotions and maintain their sense of unity. Smoking is to appease oneself.

Samuel Whyte

A psychology enthusiast, interested in movies, painting,psychology, hiking, workout etc.

Speaks Chinese and English.

Currently lives in Shanghai, China.

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *