The difference between a man’s first time and the tenth

“When a scar is torn open, it’s a pain that only you can feel.”
Da Zhuang and his girlfriend Fifi have been living together for almost a year now, and they’ve proven that relationships really do change!
In the beginning when the two of them lay on bed together, Da Zhuang was very well-dressed and they just cuddled together on the bed.
Later on, after a long time, Da Zhuang took off his clothes every time he slept, extremely wantonly.
When they first moved in together, Fifi would order a Coke every time she ordered takeout, and Da Zhuang always said, “Can you stop drinking Coke, it’s bad for your teeth!”
Then every time Fifi orders take-out, Da Zhuang would say, “Order me a big Coke, and remember to add ice.”
When they first moved in together, you know, twice a day, one in the morning and one in the evening, occasionally three times a day or something.

Now, once a day, once every two days. After each time, Fifi would say to Da Zhuang with disgust, “Are you okay?”
Men are such fickle creatures, so what’s the difference between a man’s first time and his tenth time in regular sex life? 


First illness
You’ve just confirmed your relationship and you have a fever at night. Knowing that there’s a pharmacy downstairs, but he’s still in a hurry to get the medicine to you from halfway across the city, just in case you’re not feeling well and not in a good mood if he’s late.

Telling you to take your temperature every hour, and taking you to the doctor as soon as he notice your temperature rising, he was there with you when you needed him, giving you fluids and feeding you.
The tenth sickness
You don’t know to add clothing in time when you’re not feeling well, and being sick is the norm, he’s used to it. You told him that you had a fever, and he sent you a We Chat message to drink more water, if feeling too bad, just go downstairs to buy some medicine. You said the downstairs pharmacy is closed, he said you can find an errand on the delivery platform to deliver the medicine, and it was soon.

In the middle of the night, you are not feeling well again, with a high fever and anger, You wanted to give him a phone call, only to find that his phone shut off. The next day he said he generally turned it off at night and asked if you have something to call, you’ve been silent for a while and said it’s okay.


First holiday.
Your anniversaries together, every birthday and Valentine’s Day, he remembered them all and gave you surprises with different patterns.

On your birthday, he agonized over what to get you for a long time. He asked your close girlfriends to keep an eye on what you want to buy, browsed in Taobao all afternoon to choose an expensive gift, had dinner , shopped and watched movies with you. You guys had a very, very good time.

You once said that every day is Valentine’s Day if you choose the right person.
The tenth holiday.
Valentine’s Day happens to fall during the New Year and you are separated and he did not wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. He may have forgotten or chosen to ignore the Memorial Day holiday, no gifts and blessings.

You say that you want the latest cell phone and a dress you’ve wanted for a long time, and he says yes. On your birthday, you had none of those gifts you thought. He simply had dinner and sent you a 52 yuan red envelope with a note: happy birthday.

You say, expectantly but also knowing that there are no miracles.


First overnight stay
The first time you go out, you’re hesitant, expecting something to happen and dreading it. You chatted late into the night and found it a bit awkward, the lights were dim and everything fell into place.

That day, you didn’t dare to take off your make-up and you were very reserved, afraid that he would think you were too open; he didn’t dare to make a big move, afraid that he didn’t take good care of you, making you think he was too selfish. You had your first in a careful way.

The tenth sleepover.
You’re so casual in front of each other that you no longer pay attention to your image and deliberately run to each other when you fart. You diss his dirty socks everywhere, and he laughs at you for taking pictures of your face to ward off evil spirits.

You’re still interested in each others’ bodies, but the once-a-month sex seems to be just to prove that love exists. Afterwards, you go about your business as if nothing just happened.


The first quarrel.
The first time you had a quarrel, he was very patient and coaxed you “baby, it is my fault, do not be sad”, he apologized for his mistake, patiently coaxed you and can not bear to leave you a tear.

You cried for a long time that day, and he was sad for a long time afterwards. He doesn’t know how to comfort you. Looking at you, he was anxious. He really hopes to bear all the grievances for you. He secretly vows to treat you well in the future.
The tenth quarrel
You don’t know how many times you’ve had a quarrel, but he left a comment like “I can’t help it if you want to think that way” and hung up the phone. He knew that there would be a quarrel at home. He simply chose to stay in the company to work overtime. When he got home at night, he saw that you were asleep, he fell asleep directly.

In fact, when he returned that day, you knew all about it. You lay on your side crying for a long time, listening to his snores, and you tossed and turned, insomniac to midnight. A bed separates you into two worlds, obviously so close but can not touch each other.
Kids ask why you ignored me, did you not like me? Adults are tacitly distant from one another.
We tend to be more mature, but sometimes we’re not as good as children, and there are things we don’t learn.

You clearly feel that your feelings have changed, stiff when holding you, perfunctory when kissing, and staring at his phone all the time when you’re together. You are wholeheartedly planning for a better future while the other person is cautiously preparing for a full withdrawal.
Don’t pile up an emotional backlog of outbursts when you find that your relationship is in trouble. Don’t think that time can solve all problems. What time can solve is all based on your willingness to work.
If you still love, communicate well, if not, stop in time.

Samuel Whyte

A psychology enthusiast, interested in movies, painting,psychology, hiking, workout etc.

Speaks Chinese and English.

Currently lives in Shanghai, China.

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